A very good friend of mine is pregnant. She is due April 26 which is 1 year and 4 days after I was due with Celeste. It hasn't bothered me much that she's pregnant. I've been okay with talking to her about things. I have been worried about her. I definitely don't want her to experience what I did a year ago. However, she is the first person since my loss who I have been very close to that's pregnant. Today she found out the sex of the baby. I found myself hoping for a boy for her even though I knew they both desperately wanted a girl. I just wasn't too sure how I'd handle an April baby girl that wasn't my own. Everyone else I've known who has had a baby so far has had a boy. She announced to me that it's a girl! So when my friend told me her exciting news I feel like I put on a fake smile and a fake congratulations. I'm sure I'll be fine once the baby is born. And like I said the last thing in the world I would want is for her to lose the baby. My gosh I think that would be even harder on me if she did lose the baby. I feel like a bad friend for giving her the fake smile and forced congrats. Totally my problem and something I need to deal with. I do hope I handle her arrival better though. You would think though a year has gone by I shouldn't be that effected by the birth of a baby. Then again, most pregnancies I'm not privy to every detail and good day and bad day. This is a friend who I see almost on a daily basis though and if I don't see her I talk to her. I hope she understands my reactions though and doesn't think I'm a bad friend.
Across So Many Seas: Author Interview with Ruth Behar
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Ruth Behar’s lyrical and moving historic tale, Across So Many Seas, touched
my heart, so I’m thrilled to be able to welcome her to our blog today.
Thank ...
13 hours ago
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