Is WIC Really Pro Breastfeeding?

I have been receiving the government program WIC (Women Infant and Children) for some time now. This program is for pregnant or breastfeeding women, infants, and children up to age 5 to help supplement their dietary needs by giving them things like milk, eggs, cereal, and peanut butter. It also provides baby formula.

This time with Alyssa I have been determined to exclusively breastfeed her. And I have been successful so far for the first three months of her life. The only formula she had was a couple of ounces at birth and that wasn't even from a bottle. I must say, I am very proud of myself. I chose not to breastfeed Natalie at all for numerous reasons. It was just the right thing for our family at the time. Then when Kaitlyn was born I wanted to give it a try, but she stopped latching on a few days in. Then when CJ came along I thought well, I'll try again. But when I was going to have the c-section I said never mind try I'm doing this because I was worried I would have a hard time bonding with him if I didn't since I wasn't going to get to hold him right after birth. We did it for 3 months, but I was forced to stop when he was 3 months old because of our stupid pediatrician at that time. I was so angry that I had to stop. I enjoyed my time with CJ doing that.

So when I got pregnant with Alyssa I decided that we are going to do this completely differently. We are really going to do it right. I insisted on no pacifiers in the beginning until we established breastfeeding and no bottles at all. I've really had to be strong and stand up for this. In the hospital when they wanted to give her formula they were hesitant about giving it to her any other way but in the bottle. Then when we had to get blood work done when she was 3 days old the person who drew her blood wanted to give her a pacifier which I said no way too. You could tell she did not approve because she didn't want to hear her scream and she handed it to me thinking that I would change my mind, but I didn't. Not sure what the deal is with our society that doesn't support breastfeeding and helping a woman have the best start at that. It's really not a wonder that so many women have so much trouble. If we had more support, then maybe more women would do it and do it for an extended amount of time.

Now WIC is a program that wants children to have a healthy start. There are signs all over the office saying breast is best, but they certainly don't make it seem that way. When I went to put Alyssa on WIC after she was born the nutritionist had asked me about breastfeeding and if I was going to feed her breastmilk exclusively. I told her yes I was and she said that's great, but if you ever have any trouble just give us a call and we'll get you checks for formula. What? Shouldn't you be encouraging a woman to continue breastfeeding as long as possible? Don't give her an out. Why not have lactation consultants on hand? Why not offer vouchers for nursing bras and shirts? Why not give nursing moms breast pumps? I mean if you add up how much they are spending on a baby on formula every month I guarantee you offering lactation consultants, breast pumps, and nursing clothing would cost much less. Yes, it's a nutrition program, but if the best nutrition for baby is breastmilk then maybe the best way to make sure babies are getting the best nutrition they can get is by making sure mom has all of the things she needs to be successful at breastfeeding.

I recently went back to WIC to pick up my checks. A different nutritionist was talking to me and was shocked to find out that I was still breastfeeding exclusively and intended to do it as long as possible. That's really sad. This woman sees hundreds of women with babies and she's shocked that my 3 month old daughter is still exclusively breastfed. She did ask how it was going and if I had any questions. I can honestly say that I don't know if I had mentioned anything about cracked nipples she would do anything to help with that, but given their quickness to offer up formula I'm willing to bet that I probably wouldn't have gotten too much support.

So it really makes me wonder if the WIC program is doing everything possible to support breastfeeding, or if they are receiving kick backs from the formula companies to push formula much like hospitals are. Because saying breast is best, but in the same breath telling people, but if you can't do it just let us know and we'll help you out with formula certainly does not sound like the WIC program believes breast is best for baby.

Natalie's 12th Birthday party

This weekend we had lots of fun things going on. So over the next few days I'm going to share what we've been up to. We started our weekend by finally having Natalie's 12th birthday party. It wasn't quite what we had originally planned with a sleepover, but it was a fun party none the less. Her best friend came over and we decided to bring them over to the bowling alley for some Pizza, Pins, and Pop that they do every weekend.

Here they are bowling...



Then we came home and the girls made some cozy flip flops with some fabric. It ended up being a little more difficult than I anticipated, mostly because of the double sided tape, but the final outcome everyone was happy with...


Next was cake (or cupcakes rather) and presents...






It was very late by the time all was said and done. Natalie's friend's dad came to pick her up at nearly 11 at night. The girls could have gone on all night long I think. They were having so much fun. Natalie said that was the best party ever too. Such a relief since it didn't turn out the way we had planned and had to be postponed because CJ had gotten sick. I'm so glad she had such a great time after all those troubles.

Birth Story #1

This year Natalie was really showing an interest in how it is that she came into this world on her birthday. So I thought maybe I should have her birth story and all of the children's birth story written down in one spot for them to look at one day. And I figured what better time to do it than the month of May when we celebrate mothers. So for the next four weeks I'll be sharing the births of each of my children.

Starting with Natalie:

Natalie was born April 22, 1999 at 11:17 p.m. Eastern time.

After hearing from many people that I hadn't dropped yet and I'd probably be pregnant for another 2 weeks or so I had no idea what I was in store for at my 40 week check up. April 22nd was my due date. It's very rare to have a baby born on its due date, but a first one especially.

I'll never forget the whole day I was angry and not talking to Joe. He had jokingly told me that night before that if this baby wasn't a boy he was putting her back. I was 9 months pregnant, cranky, and sure I was having a girl even though we never found out by ultrasound. So thinking that Joe wasn't going to love this baby as much if she wasn't a boy really had me upset. I had my doctors appointment later in the afternoon. Joe and I didn't utter a word to each other all day. He brought me to my appointment and we didn't speak a word.

The nurse took my blood pressure and it was elevated. They put me on the monitor in the office and then seemed a little frantic in the office. It got me worried. Joe and I finally began talking. He was watching the machine and remembering what we were taught in our Lamaze class about how to read them. He watched me have contractions that I wasn't feeling. The nurse who put me on the monitor didn't even bother looking at it. They said well we don't like your blood pressure and don't know what's going on so head over to the hospital.

So off we went. I still had no idea that I was in labor or wouldn't be going home that night. We arrived and they got me all set up and my blood pressure amazingly had gone down by this point. But on the monitors they watched me contract pretty hard and regularly every five minutes. The midwife came in and checked me and I was 5 almost 6 centimeters dilated. I had no idea I was contracting. They were shocked I did not feel them. I was there for good though. So Joe went home to get my stuff and I called my mom to tell her this was it and I felt nothing. She was surprised that I didn't feel anything. She headed right over to the hospital. I walked the halls watching all of these other women double over in pain, but I still felt nothing.

Joe came back, my mom arrived, and we played cards. I continued not feeling the contractions. When the midwife saw that I was playing cards while contracting away and hadn't progressed to much more than 6 centimeters she decided to break my water. Well, that was that. Once that happened I was really feeling the pain then. Things moved very quickly from there. My water was broken at about 8 at night. By about 10:30 I was fully dilated. I started pushing. They moved me around because I wasn't getting far. They started losing Natalie's heartbeat. They put me on oxygen. I pushed for 47 minutes. I got to a point where I was telling them to just get her out already. I didn't care how I wanted it over. And at 11:17 p.m. on her due date (only 43 minutes to spare) Natalie was born. The nurse said, "It's a boy!" What? I looked at her quickly sure that I had had a girl. She goes "Oh no sorry, It's a girl!" Ahhh, that's better. After all I didn't get all bent out of shape 24 hours before for nothing. They put her directly on my stomach as she was coming out and wiped her up on my chest. Then they took her away to check her all out. 8 pounds 12 ounces and 21 inches long. No wonder I was told I hadn't dropped. I was all baby.

The midwife who delivered Natalie couldn't repair the tearing I had. So she called the on call doctor. He was a jerk. Two shots of Demerol and I could still feel him stitching me. He kept telling me not to move. My mom and Joe were watching from across the room probably holding each other back from attacking the doctor. When it was all said and done though I had a beautiful healthy baby girl. And then they were changing my bed and the Demerol finally took effect and I literally passed out onto my bed. They had to use smelling salt to get me up to get me back into bed.

I had no pain medications during the birth. I've always said if I had labored longer I probably would have been asking for drugs. My recovery was a long and painful one. But none of that matters. I brought a beautiful healthy little girl into this world. And for the record, Joe couldn't possibly have loved Natalie anymore if she were a boy. Every night he would stay up with her and sing, "You are My Sunshine". That's their song.

Kaitlyn's birth story
CJ's birth story
Alyssa's birth story

Mother's Day Look Back

Now that my 13th Mother's Day as a mother is over I would like to share some things I was thinking about this year. I was thinking back to my very first Mother's Day when Natalie was just a few weeks old. It was a special day I'm sure. However, I distinctly remember wanting a true day off from being a mom. Meaning no diaper changes, no feedings, just me enjoying the day. It didn't happen that way of course. And it never has, but every year I would always really really want that on Mother's Day. Just that one day.

This year I just didn't care. Maybe I've learned to just not expect it. Maybe I've learned to not expect a whole lot. Maybe mothering is just so much a part of who I am now that I just wouldn't know what to do with myself. Now don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed all of my other Mother's Days even if it wasn't what I expected it to be. This year was just different.

I got up like any other day and I fed Alyssa. CJ cried for daddy who wasn't home and didn't want me to get him out. I did dishes, I washed laundry, I cleaned up, I gave baths, and I of course changed diapers. I broke up fights and dealt with preteen attitude and toddler temper tantrums. I did what I do everyday. I was a mom. I got presents and dinner out with family. I cut up my toddlers meal and I shared my meal with one of my children. I did not resent a single second of having to do any of it either just because it was Mother's Day.

As shocking as this may be, the best gift I got for Mother's Day was Alyssa not crying during her bath. It's the little things. Don't get me wrong, I love my bracelet that the kids got me, I love the necklace that Joe got me, and I loved my millions of homemade cards and artwork from the children, but to not have to bathe a screaming squirmy baby really was the best thing I could have gotten. It took me 13 years to get it I guess, but being a mom really is a 24/7 job. There really is no break from it and I wouldn't have it any other way.

If I had to change anything about the day it would have been a televised Mets game and they would have won. I mean really, is that asking too much?

In honor of Mother's Day starting tonight and for the next 4 Mondays I am going to be sharing my birth stories. So check back later.

Happy Mother's Day

A tribute to my mom:

To the woman who gave me life. The one who tucked me in at night and took all of the nightmares away. To the woman who tickled my toes and wiped my tears. To the woman who hugged me tight and kissed my boo boos away. My mom!

To the woman who took the heartache away. The one who gave the best advice. To the woman who has always been by my side. My mom!

To the woman who cuddled my children. The one who baked cookies with them and made them giggle. The woman who gives the best hugs in the world. My children's grandma. My mom!

My mom means the world to me now and always. I'm so lucky to have a mom like her. Thanks Mom! Happy Mother's Day!

Teacher Appreciation Day

Today is National Teacher Appreciation Day. And today I am very appreciative to a very special teacher. Kaitlyn's 3rd grade teacher this year, Mr. T. He by far is the best teacher Kaitlyn has ever had. In all honesty he might be the best teacher any of my children have ever had.

So Mr. T thank you for giving my girl her confidence back. Thank you for seeing her great potential. Thank you for making her love school again. Thank you for pushing her just as much as she needs to be. Thank you for cheering her on for even the littlest of success. Thank you for being the best teacher she's ever had!

I do also want to thank Natalie's teachers and CJ's too. Thank you to Natalie's teachers for helping her make the most out of her school career now and in the future. And thank you to CJ's teachers for just dealing with 15 3 year olds. I just have one I deal with day in and day out I couldn't imagine 15 at once. Thank you also for cleaning up his potty accidents. I'm his mother and I can't stand doing it. Thank you for helping me to catch any potential problems with him developmentally so we can get them addressed.

I really appreciate all that teachers do because I know it's not an easy job. But I'm so glad that I can say that my children are fortunate this year to have some teachers who will go the extra mile for them. So thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Tales from the potty

As I struggle through potty training with my son I felt the need to share my quest here. Perhaps someone can give me an idea I have not thought of or gain some information from what I have done.

Now mind you I have successfully potty trained two children already. Both girls though! We did have our trials though. Natalie was late to potty train, but that was because she did not have the language skills to tell us she had to go. So we started with her a few months after she turned 3. If I recall correctly Natalie was completely day trained by the time she was 3 1/2. Night training did take some time, but it was done by the time she was four. Kaitlyn was actually easy to potty train. I started with her at 2. We had a bout of "toddlers diarrhea" when we started though. Once we got that under control she was completely potty trained by the time she turned 3. Night training was easier with her than it was with Natalie.

Now I heard many people say boys are harder to potty train than girls. I didn't really believe it until now I think. CJ is giving me a run for my money. We started with him in September. He was 2 months shy of his 3rd birthday. I used pull ups with him to start because he was going to preschool and that's what they required for children who were not potty trained. So we tried the M&M every time you use the potty. That was sporadic. Then I figured well, he's getting his fill of M&M's by going potty a few times a day lets see if we step it up and he stays dry all day he gets an M&M. Well, that didn't work either.

I decided I hate pull ups. I needed to get him to feel he was wet. Maybe then he'll try harder to go. So during February vacation we gave it a go. He stayed dry two days out of that week. I decided to do a sticker chart for him. If he got 7 stickers then he would be able to go get a new matchbox car. He needed to stay dry for 7 days though. Well, he lost interest in that pretty quickly. So then we went out and purchased a bunch of matchbox cars to reward him instantly with a new car for every day he stayed dry. He has gotten 3 cars so far. That's two weeks worth of trying this and only 3 days dry.

The poop is the worst. I am so tired of washing out underwear. I'm tired of cleaning him. It doesn't even bother him. Today he has pooped in his underwear 3 times! At one point I kept thinking I smelled something and I kept asking him if he had pooped and he kept telling me no. Finally I checked and he had pooped. How could he not be uncomfortable in that? It just doesn't make any sense to me.

I am not too sure where to go from here for an incentive for him. He clearly could care less whether he stays dry or not. The thing is I know he can do this. Many times when we've been out he'll tell us when he has to go potty. I don't always have to tell him to go when we're home either. This morning after he got up he was still in his pull up and he went into the bathroom on his own to go. No one had to tell him to go. He knew he had to go so he went.

So here he is 3 1/2 years old and no where close to being potty trained. He HAS to be potty trained for preschool next year. They won't take him if he's not. And that would be devastating to him if he doesn't get to go to school next year.

I know I should probably just give in for now and try again in a month or so, but really I just want this done.

What do you think? Are boys harder to train than girls? I keep telling myself the old saying of he won't go to college in a diaper. Gosh, I'm really beginning to wonder though. I hate potty training!