All my life I dreamed of the day I would have children. I always wanted a son, but you turned out to be way more than I could have ever dreamed for. You are always making me laugh with the things you say and do.
This year you have begun to love the sport of baseball with me. Well, more importantly the Mets. I love that we can share that together.
This has been such a big year for you. Going to school all day long, but you have handled it with stride. I on the other hand still miss you like crazy everyday and find myself anxiously awaiting your arrival home. We don't get special lunch dates together very often anymore, but when we do it's time that I truly cherish with you.
As you grow older my wish for you is that you remain courteous and funny. Keep making people laugh, but choose that time wisely. Don't you ever give up on things that are tough for you. The reward I promise you will be great.
Keep asking questions and sharing that beautiful mind of yours with others. Give of yourself freely and always know that I am here for you if you ever need me for anything. I will love you no matter what you do, even if you spend the rest of your days in 1st grade on orange. Still, continue to work hard to make the right choices which make me smile. But don't do it for me, do it for you to make yourself smile.
Have a great 7th birthday and whatever you do, don't eat too much pizza!
I love you with all of my heart CJ.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Wow, 15 years! Halfway to 30! Have I reminded you of that fact enough today? Don't worry, one day you'll get to do the same to your kids. Just like Grandma did to me.
This has been a great year, don't you think? You have really grown and come out of your shell. You were so nervous about high school, but it turned out to be pretty amazing and I love seeing you try some new things. Keep spreading your wings. As much as you might want to stay little forever, I probably want it even more. Shocking as that may be to you it's true.
The thing is you have to grow up and be on your own. Don't worry, it won't be so bad. You have a really good head on your shoulders so I do see good things for you. But you have to be willing to get out there and try. Don't worry so much about messing up. It's going to happen and Daddy and I will be here for you always.
So go out into the world, have fun with your friends, and laugh a lot. Make lots of memories, but do it while keeping your nose clean.
And in case you are wondering, I really enjoy our dates to Moe's this year. It has been a lot of fun. I know you would agree. Happy 15th birthday to you my first born! I love you very very much.
Friday, April 11, 2014
So this is your last year being a "kid". Next year you will be a teenager! I'm not even sure if you're excited about that or not. Truth be told, I'm not.
As we have been approaching your birthday I have been thinking, where has the time gone? It just seems to be going by so fast. I am so happy with the choices you have made so far with your life though. I think you might be one of the bravest kids I know.
I know it was hard for you to leave behind your friends this year to go to a school that is so far away from home. And you so easily could have just given me this one year and not really put any effort into actually liking it, but instead you have made the most of it. You instantly made new friends while maintaining your old friendships. You have gotten up before the sunrise every day without fail to get on that bus and make that long ride to school. Leaving before everyone and getting home later than everyone.
It's such a long day, but you have embraced it and you are doing what it is that you always do. Impressing everyone you meet with your work ethic, grit, and determination. Not to mention your extremely generous heart.
Sometimes I wonder if I can ever teach you anything more. You have taught me so much about life and how to just roll with the punches and never give up.
There is still something I can teach you and remind you of all the time though. That generous heart of yours, protect it! Keep giving it out to people freely, but do be careful. Don't give away so much that you lose yourself. By this I mean, don't be so eager to please everyone that you forget to take care of you. I always tell everyone how much like me Natalie is, but one area that you are like me is that need to please everyone. And I'm here to tell you it comes at a price. So put yourself first sometimes, don't be afraid to tell people no if you need to. Especially if it's something you know would be the wrong thing to do. If someone really is your friend and truly loves you, then they'll love you even if you tell them no to something. So don't forget that.
Keep on smiling, I love seeing your beautiful smiley face. I hope your last year as an official "big kid" is a great one! I love you, happy birthday!
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Wow, I can't believe 3 years has passed since you were born. I never even thought you would be, but here you are with your beautiful smiling face telling everyone you're 6 instead of 3. Oh you silly girl, please stop growing up so fast. I wish I could keep you small forever, but alas that is just not possible.
So many changes have happened for you recently. The biggest of all being starting school. I know you wish I could be there with you and believe me I wish I could too, but this is something you have got to do on your own. I promise it won't be so bad and I will come get you every day. I could never forget about you.
I love how you are developing so many of your very own interests. And I love how much you look up to all of your older siblings. They are a good bunch for you to look up to too. Usually won't steer you in the wrong direction so make sure you listen to them.
Your excitement for so many things is so refreshing. You make me excited about things I never gave a second though to before.
I love being your mother so much. I never know what crazy things you're going to say next. Such a smart and beautiful little girl. I love you to the moon and back again baby girl. I hope you had a great 3rd birthday.
I love you!
Friday, November 1, 2013
Note: It seems the only time now I am updating this blog is for birthday letters. Sorry about that, things have been crazy. But this is the best place for me to keep these letters to the kids. Guess what! CJ's 6 today!
I cannot believe you are six years old! You have been looking forward to this day for a while though. So here we are. Six whole years old. What can I say? You make me laugh and smile every single day. Don't ever lose that sense of humor or imagination.
I have watched you overcome so much in your short life. You have always done it with a great deal of determination. It really should never come as a surprise to me what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it. But it does every time. So Kindergarten wasn't your thing last year, but this year you are killing it. You have made up your mind to do certain things and have just done it. I love that so much about you.
I worried that this was going to be a difficult year for you socially having to watch your friends all go forward without you. But you have embraced it and made new friends while still managing to hold onto the old ones. You really are an inspiration.
I couldn't imagine my life without you in it brightening it up. Every day I wonder what is he going to say to make me laugh today? What a wonderful gift you have been. I love and cherish you always and wish you the best 6th birthday any little boy has ever had. I hope all your dreams and wishes come true now and forever.
I love you CJ guy more than you'll ever know. Happy 6th Birthday!
Monday, April 22, 2013
My first born. We get all of our firsts together. That's pretty special you know. And you are going through a very exciting time in your life right now. I'm loving watching you make decisions for your future. The next four years are going to be ultra important as you know. Everyone keeps telling you that.
But there's something I don't think anyone has told you yet, not even me. The next four years are important for us and our relationship. We only have this short time together and we need to make it good and memorable. Now don't get me wrong, I will still be telling you what to do. You will not be getting away with anything. But I will try my hardest to remember that time is fleeting and we have to make the most of it and have fun.
I need your help though. I need you to come to me when you think I'm getting too distracted with everything else and you need me the most. Sometimes other things can get in the way, but if you need time with just me let me know, we will schedule it. Please be patient though.
I also want you to do something else. I want you to stop being so afraid to try something new. I want you to experience things. I want you to go on dates with boys, to go to the park with your girlfriends, and to try new things. This is the only time in your life you really get to throw caution to the wind. Do it! Don't look back and think; where did that time go? You don't know if you like something until you try. So get yourself out there and explore new things and have fun. Don't worry so much about what other people do and think. They aren't important. You are!
That's the best advice I can give you at this time my beautiful girl. You are already a huge success in my eyes. Keep up the hard work. The skies the limit for you. I love you. Thanks for giving me the gift of motherhood 14 years ago today. Happy Birthday!
Today marks 4 years since I was due with Celeste. It's also of course Natalie's 14th birthday so you get two blog posts from me on here today. Come back oh around 11:17 p.m. tonight to read Natalie's letter (I always schedule them for the time when they were born).
Normally I would write a letter to Celeste like the rest of the kids, but I'm going to do something a little different this year. Back in December on Monica's Mom Musings I introduced Celeste to the world, but I never officially did it here. So I want to give you all an opportunity to meet her.
Now I'm hesitant about doing this here because when I shared Celeste's story I had an anonymous commenter come and question the validity of Celeste's existence. Accused me of playing things up for drama. I almost shared her picture then, but the time wasn't right. I wasn't going to be doing it for the right reasons. It was simply going to be to prove a point to some anonymous person and I didn't need her validation if she didn't even have the courage to give me her real name. So I kept it to myself for the most part.
I am in a good place now with my grief. Not a day goes by that I do not think of Celeste and obviously some days more than others. But the experience has taught me a lot and it has given me some truly wonderful friends along the way and shown me who my true friends are. I came out with her picture because I realized that not sharing her like I do the rest of my children wasn't doing anything for her or my family. People forget. I don't want Celeste to be forgotten because she is so much a part of me. To know her is to know me. And to know her you have to see that she is real.
She might be gone, but she is not forgotten. So without further ado please say hello to my angel baby Celeste Alia. Born sleeping on December 6, 2008. Due date April 22, 2009.