Happy 14th Birthday CJ

 Dear CJ,

Happy Birthday Mr. Awesome. For the last 14 years you have been bringing so much joy and happiness to our lives. Watching you grow has been truly bittersweet because while I want to spend as much time as possible with you I also love seeing you overcome every obstacle.

People tell me all the time what a great kid you are. And it's so true. You are polite, you are funny, and you are a hard worker. Such great qualities which will take you so far in life.

I am so proud of what you are accomplishing this year. I know I drive you crazy always reminding you how important it is to do well in school so you can make your dreams come true, and you have truly stepped up to that challenge this year. I don't know why I was worried you wouldn't do it. Keep up the hard work kiddo, I promise you it will take you far in life. 

The world needs more people like you in it. I'm just so happy I get to be along for the ride. I hope 14 is a great year for you. The best is yet to come in life, kiddo. Remember, don't have a good day, have a GREAT day! I love you always and forever. Happy birthday, CJ.

Love always,

Mommy

Happy 19th Birthday Kaitlyn

 Dear Kaitlyn,

What a year it's been. Not exactly how any of us thought it would go, and everything you worked so hard for all seemed to end in a fizzle. But in true Kaitlyn fashion you plugged on probably a lot less phased by all you missed out on than I was.

I know you think 19 is no big deal. Nothing big happens this year, it's just another day, but I know you will make this a great year. Whether it's going back to school in the fall, or finding yourself the job you see yourself doing, you will figure it all out. Maybe not this year, but everything you challenge yourself into doing always leads you to a new adventure and something new you find out about yourself. Don't think you have to figure it all out at once though. Now is the time to try new things and explore all of your interests.

I am truly looking forward to you finding your path. And always know your father and I will always be here with you every step of the way cheering you on and offering advice whether you want that advice or not. 

Happy 19th birthday Katie Kiddles. I hope you have a lot of fun today and a great year ahead. I love you!

Love always,

Mommy

Happy 10th Birthday Lissy

 Dear Alyssa,

Finally, the much anticipated day has arrived. I hope it hasn't been too disappointing what with COVID raging on and a near blizzard putting a monkey wrench in everything for you. I cannot believe that you are 10 years old. It truly feels like just yesterday I was sitting on the couch after eating dinner when you said nope, I'm going to change all of your plans and make you scramble. You have been full of surprises literally since the day you were born.

You know, you round out our family in the most perfect of ways. I know you wish you could be a big sister, but you're just going to have to settle for someday, hopefully far down the road, being someone's awesome aunt. You complete this family, no one could ever follow your act. So sorry kiddo, you're stuck being the youngest, but rest assured, you are awesome at it.

The past year has been anything but typical. There has been a whole lot of shifting of plans and even some losses along the way, but you sure have shown how very strong and resilient you are. Switching to distance learning, you did so without complaint and even have done pretty good with it. I hope life can start to get back to normal and you can start getting to hang out with your friends in person and not just on Zoom or on the phone. I know you miss your friends.

You are growing up so fast. Sometimes I wish I could make it stop, but at the same time I can't wait to see where life is going to take you. You have so many great and wonderful thoughts for how your future will play out. No matter what you do, I am sure you will be great at it and you certainly are not going to let anyone push you around. You are a girl to be reckoned with and it's because of that, that I have no doubt your greatness is going to shine in whatever you do.

Have a great birthday baby girl, and I hope your 10th year with us is absolutely the best one yet. Happy 10th birthday Alyssa. You complete us!

Love always,

Mommy

Happy 13th Birthday CJ

 CJ,

It's finally here, you are now a teenager. As I do every year on your birthday, I have been reflecting on all the years that came before with you. Starting of course with our first moments together just staring in awe at your perfectly round little baseball head thinking how you were the greatest early birthday present I ever got. And you are just the gift that keeps on giving every year too. 

You told me this year that you wanted to bake me a birthday cake, all by yourself simply because I always bake you a cake for your birthday every year. Just knowing that you want to do that for me is the best birthday present you could give me. Because you know that I bake you a cake because I care, and you want to do the same for me to show me that you care. 

With each passing year I am more and more proud that I get to be your mom. Watching you come into your own has been great to see. Hearing from others that you have such a good head on your shoulders and don't just follow the group and start doing whatever the other kids do. It's a great quality to not be a follower.

The last year has most definitely been trying in so many ways with having to figure out a different way to do school and not being able to see your friends. You haven't complained though. And I know there have been times you have wanted to give up, but you have continued on. Please keep working hard, even with all of this adversity. You have so much potential to reach your dreams, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mom. 

I hope today is everything you hoped it would be, and I hope your 13th year ends up being everything you thought it would be. Keep growing, keep learning, and keep having that big giant heart of yours. I love you so much and wish you the happiest 13th birthday a boy could ever have.

Love always,

Mommy

 

 

 

Class of 2020

This blog has become mostly a place where the kids birthday letters reside. As the kids have gotten older I have found it harder to blog because a lot of the trials, tribulations, and triumphs haven't really seemed like they are mine and mine alone to share. So my Monica's Mom Musings blog has pretty much shut down long ago. And this is what I've had left as well as Facebook to share what's going on.

Today, I felt the need to say something that's a little more than a Facebook post. You see in the midst of this pandemic Kaitlyn has lost a lot. She was supposed to get her driver's license right as everything shut down in our state so that has been put on hold. She was supposed to have an 18th birthday bash to end all (okay, not really, but she had big plans for her 18th birthday that had to be put on hold). Senior prom, cancelled. Senior trip, cancelled. School is now officially as of today out for the rest of the year. And we still have so very much unanswered questions about what is going to happen for the class of 2020.

And no, Kaitlyn and her school are not the only class dealing with this. I feel for every single Senior out there. Kaitlyn's school put together this 15 minute video about how much they miss everyone and plenty of shout outs to the class of 2020 in there. And I have been holding it together all this time, but watching that cheesy video the school and staff put together I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

I got to thinking all the way back to even before I met Kaitlyn. When she was just a teeny tiny little embryo in my stomach in 2011 when 9/11 happened. I was pretty newly pregnant with Kaitlyn and it seemed like the world was ending then. I cried so hard wondering what am I doing bringing this baby into THIS world, this is awful. She was born seven months to the day of 9/11 and it was all still very fresh in everyone's mind, all over the news it kept saying, today is 7 months since 9/11.

Life marched on though, Kaitlyn made plans for her future, and dreamed big. This was supposed to be her year. She worked so hard for this. She isn't getting the chance to say goodbye to her friends, she had no idea the last time she saw them could very well have been the last time she actually saw them. She can't get her yearbook signed by her friends, she's not getting the prom that she insisted she didn't want to go to anyways, but now that she can't it's super disappointing. And there is going to be nothing like what she envisioned, if they even get some sort of graduation. Everyone says they will do something, but it's not going to be the same.

That video her school made hit me super hard though. They came into this world in a time of war, and now they are graduating in a national pandemic. It's not supposed to be like this. My heart breaks for the entire class of 2020 and it also breaks for the parents of the class of 2020. We too had big dreams for what this year would be like, the memories that would be made. And they did not include toilet paper shortages, school ending months earlier than it was supposed to and being switched to online, and the very real realization that graduation, at least in the traditional sense of the word was simply not going to happen. And of course I want everyone to be safe, I know this is the way it has to be, but I should be crying tears of joy right now not tears of sadness for what my daughter is missing out on.

I know she will rise above all of this, I know she will make of her life everything she has dreamed of it, and she will go forward head held high. But some day when she either has children of her own and/or nieces and nephews asking her about her senior year, I just wish this wasn't the story she would have for them. I mean I guess depending how she tells it, who knows it could end up sounding pretty cool. And it will be a graduating class all of us will be talking about for years to come I would imagine.

Class of 2020, it was supposed to be your year. We are all grieving with you.

Happy 21st Birthday

Dear Natalie,

Well, here it is, your 21st birthday. You are now a full fledged adult in the eyes of the law anyways. You however have been living your life as a full fledged adult for the last 10 months. This year is so surreal. We don't get to see each other and celebrate you in person because of the Coronavirus. You don't get to do everything you had hoped you would do today. But we will make the best out of it anyways and do everything we can to make this day special for you. And hey, when this is all over you get a whole other day of celebrating you. So that's something to look forward to.

You and I have been struggling the last few years as we figure out our relationship and where we go from here. This last year I feel like maybe we are making a turn. I don't know if you feel the same way. I just hope you remember that I will always be here for you no matter what. If you are struggling you can come to me and I will do everything in my power to help you out. No matter how old you get I will be here for you.

I hope this year brings you so much happiness and another step closer to figuring out your future. Just remember, what you always thought you wanted to do with your life just might lead you to a different path and that's okay. Now is the perfect time to explore all of your options. I know you will figure this all out, just remember you are not alone. So many people care about you and are willing to help you figure all of this out. Whatever you decide in the end, know that I am proud of you.

Happy 21st birthday Nat. I love you.

Love always,

Mommy

Happy 18th Birthday Kaitlyn

Dear Kaitlyn,

It feels like just yesterday I was sitting at home playing Bejewled on the computer completely unaware that I was in labor with you. Your dad knew though, he watched me playing that computer game and timed how many times my face winced in an hour. Here we are though 18 years later and you are still full of surprises.

I'm sorry this day isn't going to be what you had hoped it would be because of this pandemic. Frankly, there have been a lot of unfair things about this whole thing that have happened to you and I completely understand how disappointed you are. I do hope your day ends up being better than you have been expecting. If nothing else, I guess you'll at least be getting a lesson that things don't always go as we plan them to, but that doesn't mean it has to be a bad thing. Okay, maybe I'm actually getting this lesson. Sometimes I feel like you take these kinds of things better than I do. You do deserve so much more though. We will make the best of it all though.

My wishes for you this year are that you begin the first steps in pursuing your dreams. Whatever those may be and however they may change. You are such a hard worker with such a big heart and so smart (yes, you are smart) that there isn't a doubt in my mind that you will do whatever it takes to do what you want to do in life. Always know that Daddy and I will always be here for you no matter how old you get and no matter what you need. We are your biggest cheerleaders now and forever and just want you to be happy.

Happy 18th birthday Katie Kiddles, I hope all your wishes come true.

Love always,

Mommy