Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Just Tired

Have you ever felt like you just can't catch a break? Like everything that could possibly go wrong does go wrong? I have been feeling that way too often lately and I don't know how I got here. Don't get me wrong. I love my life as a stay at home mom. I love my kids more than life itself. And really I know I am very fortunate. I have three healthy thriving children. I mean who could ask for anything more? I don't want to sound selfish or anything, but really lately I am worried constantly. There is just so much going on in my life right now and I don't see a way out. It's mostly financial worries. I can't contribute to our finances because we couldn't afford child care and Joe's work schedule changes so much that I couldn't even work opposite shifts of him. Not that there are any jobs out there to be had or anything. I am sick to my stomach most days now. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Seriously feel like we're just hanging on by a thread. I do not know what to do. And I feel so alone with no one able to help us out of this jam. I wish we could make a fresh start. Wipe the slate clean and have a do over. I just want to stop looking over my shoulder wondering what's going to happen next.


Erin said...

Oh man Monica..... try to "just breathe" I know... SO much easier said than done. I am so sorry you have so much on your plate... I wish there was some way I could help you out. Hang in there... as best as possible. Just always think of your babies when the going gets tough.... and it will help push you through another day!