Thursday, January 27, 2011

One Week to Go

In just a week I will walk out of my house a mother of 3 and not come home for a few days until I'm the mother of 4. The actual reality of this is getting very scary. I mean sure I've been through this before. I should know what to expect, but really you never know what to expect. I'd really like to just skip over the whole labor part, do the birth part and have my baby in my arms. Unfortunately that won't happen. And of course there's anxiety. Fear of the known. You know how they say you forget the pain of childbirth? Well, that's not entirely true. Then there's the fear of the unknown. I don't know if I could end up with a c-section after all. And I flip flop on whether that would be better or not. I mean sure I won't be feeling the pain of the labor, but the recovery is miserable. I'd be in the hospital longer. I know so much could go wrong and I worry about that. In some ways it seems like this day has taken forever to get here and in others I can't believe where the time has gone. I will be happy to have the pregnancy over with because for the past several months I have been pretty miserable. It will be nice to have my body back. I'd say it will be nice to sleep, but I know that won't be happening. Maybe I should say it will be nice to sleep on my stomach again. Or it will be nice to not be in pain every time I move in my sleep. Well, you know when I do get to sleep that is. We are really down to the wire here. It still could be sooner. I am dilating and contracting after all, but I would like to make it to the 3rd. Better than scrambling for child care. Lets also hope there is no snow next Thursday. It's a tall order I know, but really I would feel so much better if all of the children actually went to school that day.