Boy has this been a tough year for us as mother and daughter. I have written this letter in my head a thousand times too. Daddy seems to think we fight so much because we are so much alike. He could be right. Probably also has a lot to do with you trying to gain some independence while I'm trying to hold on a little longer. You see Natalie, while you might feel pretty grown up and like you know everything I still feel like I have so much more to teach you. And I do. According to the law I've got another 6 years to teach you, but really the lessons will go on for a lifetime.
First of all I so want you to know that I really truly do love you with all of my heart. You were my first born and that means you will always hold a very special place in my heart. I'm sorry if you feel that I've failed recently in showing you that though.
Next, I am so proud of you! I'm proud of how much you help out with your little sisters and brother. I'm proud when I get to catch you working hard at volunteer work. I'm proud of your grades even when I don't say it for every single grade. I know this has been a huge adjustment for you this year. But you have really come a long way since you started middle school. You've still got a ways to go too though. I know you'll get there and get the hang of it.
Finally, I will never stop pushing. You need to know that I push because I do love you so much. I push because I want so badly for you to succeed. I will never stop asking questions and I'll never stop wanting the truth from you. It's what a mother does.
Remember, I have been a 12 year old girl once. I do remember what it was like and all I want is to help you get out the other side in one piece. While sometimes it is hard to look at you and realize that you are growing up and might not need me as much anymore I also know that you still need me very much. I will always be here for you for anything. I will love you NO MATTER WHAT! And I will be your biggest cheerleader.
So my first born, I hope you enjoy your 12th birthday. And most importantly I hope you know that I love you always!
Friday, April 22, 2011