Sunday, November 15, 2009

Why do I blog

I began this blog over a year and a half ago. It's my first blog. It's my only blog. But when I started it I did it because it just seemed like the thing to do. I had been reading some blogs and found them interesting. And I thought hey there's a real following out here for mommy blogs. I'm a mommy and I enjoy writing so okay I'll give it a go. I thought it would be a nice way to keep what the children are doing and what we're doing as a family all in one place. A place where I could post some pictures. Maybe something the kids could look back on one day and say hey that's what my mom was thinking about when I was this age.

Once I started doing it I was hooked. It became so much more. It's been a place to put the letters that I write to my children every year on their birthdays. Geee, why didn't I think of this sooner? It has been a place to share about my families triumphs and difficult times. I have been able to put my thoughts out there in my journey to figure out why my son wasn't gaining weight. And people were able to show me some support. I've been able to rejoice about all sorts of different milestones my children have achieved. I have shared about CJ's Doc Band. I have had complete strangers e-mail me about that experience because they were about to go through it with their child too and wanted to know what to expect. I shared about the loss of a pregnancy and a daughter I only got to carry below my heart for a short time. Yes, I had some comments left that were negative and hurtful, but I also found out who my real friends were.

When I blog it's the spur of the moment. What I'm feeling at that time. I rarely schedule posts to go through. Only my week in review is scheduled, but I'm working on that throughout the week. The occasional "fun" thing is posted in advance. And maybe a holiday post I'll write up in advance and schedule to post. But the everyday life stuff is usually written in the moment. It's just me and how I feel at any given moment. Now yes, I do carry my camera around with me more often than I used to in hopes of capturing a blog worthy moment. There are times when in the shower I think oh that would be a fun thing to blog about, but I'll need to take a picture of that. Honestly, my picture folders on my computer are filled with some why would anyone ever take a picture of that pictures. And it's usually for my blog. But it's my life. And it's how I live. And it's something that someday when my children are grown they can look back on and understand maybe why I might have done some of the things I did. Maybe they'll have a better understanding of me the person and not just me the mother. That I am human and I do have my faults, but everything I've ever done has always been for them and with their best interest at heart. And maybe they didn't always agree with my decisions and maybe other people didn't always agree with my decisions, but that I did what I felt was the best thing to do in that moment in time. I hope they do get that.

Now there is a reason I felt it was important to write this post. I have been struggling with the thought of going private with this blog. I mean I have had my share of problems. And I just found out that my parents have read my blog. Or portions of it. And my parents and I have had a difficult relationship during the time I've been writing this blog so some of my posts have been written in frustration over our relationship. So mom and dad, I hope you are reading this post on my blog. I know that you read this post. And when you brought it up I couldn't remember what I had written. It was written two months ago. A lot has happened since then. At the time I wrote it though I was feeling very manipulated. I stand by everything that I wrote in there though as the truth. That was how I felt about the situation. Now that I know exactly what it was you were talking about I'm a little better equipped to defend myself when it comes to what was written. If you are so concerned though about what the people who might be reading my blog might think of you, then perhaps changing your behavior might be in order. The fact of the matter is I don't have to tell people anything about my parents. They can see it for themselves if they ever meet them and the way they interact with me, my husband, and my children. I have actually had people that know nothing of the problems I have had say to me what is up with your dad? Just from meeting him and being around him and my family for a few minutes.

I will continue to keep this blog public. I will continue to write what I'm feeling. If you do not like what you are reading then don't read it. If you think what I'm saying is untrue, then I challenge you to prove me wrong. This blog has become informative for people and has been therapeutic for me. It has also given me some unique opportunities to try out new products. Watch for a review of a new Wii game that we were given a chance to try with the family. It has been a great thing for me and I refuse to let anyone make me turn this into a private blog. There's just no reason for it.


Farm Fresh Jessica said...

Blogging is therapeutic for me too. It's kind of like an interactive journal. ((Hugs))

And cool about the Wii game!