A Visit from Celeste

I've really been thinking about my Angel Celeste Alia lately. Probably because her due date would be in two weeks. I'm relieved I have Kaitlyn's birthday on Saturday and then Natalie's on Celeste's due date to at least keep me positive. I am afraid to say for a while now I haven't given too much thought to what could have been.

However, that changed on Tuesday. Joe and I were trying to fix the brand new vacuum cleaner which Natalie clogged up real good for us. We had the TV muted and CJ was napping and the girls were at school. We have a small windchime I had gotten for Celeste after we lost her back in December. It's hanging in our living room. I've never heard it make noise before. The windows haven't been opened so there's no wind or anything. Tuesday though we kept hearing this faint ting ting ting. Joe and I both looked up at the windchime not sure what we were hearing. Sure enough ever so slightly we could see the chimes on the windchime moving. This has never happened before. No one seemed to be walking around upstairs. There certainly wasn't a lot of noise coming from up there like there has been with no movement. So we didn't really know what to make of it. It kept happening for about an hour getting stronger and more frequent. I can't help but think it was Celeste reminding us she's still here.

It has become easier to talk about her now. I no longer break down in tears. There's been a lot of what would have beens for me now though. Like with this windchime moving and making noise the other day could that have been the day she would have been born? Very possible I guess. She only would have been two weeks early.

I've been noticing a lot of newborn babies lately too. It's easier to see them now at least, but still I can't help but wonder what Celeste would look like. Would she look more like Natalie or Kaitlyn? Would she have had a lot of hair? Would it have been dark like CJ's or very blond like Kaitlyn's? Someday I guess I'll know, but for now I'll have to take the noises from her windchime.